A World Without Stalkers

This is WAY off topic, but as my blog deals with any subject that I may deem to be of sufficient importance to share with you, I felt compelled to do so regarding the topic of “Stalkers”.  If anyone has ever had this very unpleasant experience, here is an article that has been posted by, End Stalking in America Inc., a non-profit organization based in the USA. Very illuminating read, to say the least.

Update: I am being stalked, defamed and slandered by a person who uses the pseudo: focustnv  as well as Krista Kay on Facebook. Her real name is Rochelle Michaels and I am placing another restraining order on her.

Her My Space ID is: http://www.myspace.com/focus2life

If you read nothing else on this site, please take the time to read this section.  It is extremely important to be aware of the following traits of stalkers. These will alert you to the possibility that a potential suitor or even a friend or acquaintance could become a stalker.

Stalkers will not take no for an answer.

They refuse to believe that a victim is not interested in them or will not rekindle their relationship and often believe that the victim really does love them, but just doesn’t know it and needs to be pushed into realizing it. As long as they continue pursuing their victim, the stalker can convince themselves they haven’t been completely rejected yet.

Stalkers display an obsessive personality.

They are not just interested in, but totally obsessed with the person they are pursuing. Their every waking thought centers on the victim, and every plan the stalker has for the future involves the victim. Ask yourself this. Is the person totally involved in and completely overwhelmed with pursuing someone who has no and never will have any interest in him or her?

Along with obsessive thinking, they also display other psychological or personality problems and disorders. They may suffer from erotomania, paranoia, schizophrenia, and delusional thinking. According to Professor R. Meloy, “these stalkers have rigid personalities and maladaptive styles. These disorders in themselves are very stable and not treatable.” There are drugs to treat certain specific mental disorders, but stalkers, when given the choice, seldom continue with their medication or treatment.

Stalkers are above average in intelligence and are usually smarter than the run of the mill person with mental problems.

They will go to great lengths to obtain information about their victims or to find victims who have secretly moved. They have been known to hack into computers, tap telephone lines, take jobs at public utilities that allow them access to the victims or information about the victims, and even to travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars to gain information about or find their victims. Stalkers many times use their intelligence to throw others off their trail.
Most stalkers don’t have any relationship outside the one they are trying to re-establish or the one they have imagined exists between them and their victim.
Because they are usually loners, stalkers become desperate to obtain this relationship.

Stalkers don’t display the discomfort or anxiety that people should naturally feel in certain situations.

Normal individuals would be extremely embarrassed to be caught following other people, going through their trash looking for information about them, leaving obscene notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by stalkers. Stalkers, however, don’t see this as inappropriate behavior, but only as a means to gain the person’s love.

Stalkers often suffer from low self-esteem, and feel they must have a relationship with the victim in order to have any self worth.
Preoccupations with other people almost always involve someone with weak social skills and low self-esteem.

Few stalkers can see how their actions are hurting others.

They display other sociopathic thinking in that they cannot learn from experience, and they don’t believe society’s rules apply to them. Most stalkers don’t think they’re really threatening, intimidating, or even stalking someone else. They think they’re simply trying to show the victims that they’re the right one for them.  To the victims of stalking it is like a prolonged rape.

Stalkers, like rapists, want absolute control over their victims. They don’t regard what they’re doing as a crime, or even wrong. To them it is true love, with the exception that the victim doesn’t recognize it yet. With enough persistence, stalkers believe they will eventually convince the victims of their love.
Stalkers many times have a mean streak and will become violent when frustrated.  How violent?  Often deadly.

The above traits remind us that much of stalking involves harassment and annoyance, but never forget that stalkers can also be extraordinarily dangerous.   Believing that their victims love and care for them, stalkers can become violent when frustrated in their quest for this love.

Although the majority of cases do not end in murder or grave bodily injury, enough do every year that victims should never brush aside the possibility. Victims of stalking should never take the crime lightly, no matter who the stalkers are or how close they have been emotionally.

Look carefully again at the traits below and be wary if someone seems to fit these.

Won’t take no for an answer
Has an obsessive personality
Above average intelligence
No or few personal relationships
Lack of embarrassment or discomfort at actions
Low self esteem
Sociopathic thinking
Has a mean streak

About Benjamin Kanarek
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Fashion and Beauty Photographer. Some of the magazines I have shot for include: VOGUE (China, Portugal, Brazil, Italia, Paris and South America & Mexico editions), RG VOGUE Brazil, Harper’s BAZAAR (China, en Español & Latin America, Hong Kong, Italy editions), L’Officiel Paris, ELLE (Spain, Portugal and Greece editions), Madame Figaro (France), Cosmopolitan (France and Italy editions), Glamour (France), Votre Beauté, Jardin des Modes, Dépêche Mode, New York Daily News, Fashion District News, New York Times Magazine, W (British edition), WWD, Fashion Magazine (Canada), Flare (Canada), Oyster, Tank, WestEast…

  • Benjamin Kanarek

    @: @:

    You know something Marvin; there should be a one day national holiday called “Stalk the Stalker”, where community groups get together en mass and stalk the stalker. Now wouldn’t that be fun!? Now that would be putting the proverbial shoe on the other foot…

  • Marvin KanareK

    As you and I both know,the path that chose us, that of the artist, is the classic example of the “dual edged sword”.

    Showing kindness and patience towards some people is sometimes misconstrued and misunderstood. Lending a sympathetic ear will sometimes backfire at some unexpected moment. Anything and everything that you say or do is examined under a microscope. We have to be very aware of words that may guide or criticize others. A harsh word might destroy someone’s dreams. A heartfelt compliment or encouragement may inspire someone to great heights. A warm gesture can be misread by some. The joy of creating is occasionally denigrated by an encounter with an unbalanced human being who’s profound unhappiness with their own lives is momentarily alleviated by their chance meeting with an artist.

    They see in this artist a life or a path that they would never have dared to follow.They fantasize that the artist will rescue them from an otherwise mundane existence.The irony is that the artist is just like the fan,an ordinary human being. The only difference is that the artist followed his or her muse. I have encountered people who fit the above description. They suffer from profound sadness and frustration in their personal lives. I find it interesting that all of these people were involved in relationships. It seemed as if they were leading a double life. One living in frustration. The second living in denial and fantasy.

    In their minds,they were already living (imagining) a relationship the artist that never existed. Once “jilted” by the artist,they will go to any extreme to reek havoc in a pathetic show of vindictiveness. They will fabricate scenarios,lies and any other means available to them in an attempt to avenge the artist who “wronged” them. This is the classic profile of a “stalker”not a fan. The best that we can do,is pity them,and hopefully learn and recognize the archetypal warning signs,so that the next time,we can just turn and walk away. Besides the rare encounter with one of these pathetic,sad,incomplete human beings,I would never trade my life as an artist. I will,as all artists,follow my muse……….. peace for ’09 and beyond.